I don’t know if I wanna keep trying to hold on to everyone and make them happy while deep down I’m feeling like shit. I don’t know if I wanna keep caring for everyone while no one is caring for me as much as I care for them. I don’t know if I wanna leave all these people in my life and memories behind to find new people. I really don’t know. It’s just too hard to choose when these people mean so much to you.
You asked me what I was thinking about and I was scared to tell you because what I was thinking about was you. When you talked about prom, I couldn’t stop thinking about the time where we talked about going to prom with each other in just sweat pants aha and just having fun. Maybe that’s why I kinda felt like just asking you but Im already guessing that someone already asked you or you just want to go with your friends. It’s fine though I guess cause when we talked about it, it was a long ass time ago and things change. Just the thought of going to prom with you makes me smile, actually just the thought of going anywhere with you makes me smile. Idk, maybe it’s just that I’ve been looking forward to going with you for so long. Lol my feelings are all over the place right now. One moment I’m like damn I just gotta talk to her and see her but then the next moment I’m just like wtf am I doing I’m eating my time on her. I just don’t know. Lol I’m sorry for falling for you. I know I shouldn’t have but I did. I believe…no, i know I had a chance before but I guess I didn’t utilize my courage to take it. Lol idk wtf is going to happen in the future but for sure one day and hopefully I will be dead cause then, then I would be happy and stress free.
If you put a finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Pacman!
Had to!
When the times right, I’ll pull the trigger.
(Source: romanceinthedarkness)
I have so much shit bottled up inside. All I did was worry about the shit that was in the top of the bottle and trying to control it so i won’t blow up, but when I was cleaning my room I found the cards you gave to me and that’s when everything from the bottom just shook up and know I’m just about to fucking blow the fuck up lol. I read some of them and I remembered all the feelings I got from them and I believed every single word you wrote down. You said you can tell me anything and everything, but what I realized is that You always avoid to tell me what I want to know. You always get me to tell you shit but you never tell me anything at all. Its funny how when you’re fucking sad or whatever I would always try my best to get to you as soon as possible but when it comes to me I would have to go to you or I wouldn’t even have you around at all lol. Do I put in so much effort in being a good friend to you that You think you don’t have to put in any at all? aha I find it fucking hilarious. I can think of so much shit that I’ve done for you but I can’t think of shit when it comes to you doing something for me lol. Wtf is that? aha. Lol fuck this shit. I’m done.
The first time I met you, it wasn’t all that great but honestly I believe when I started to get to know you and get close to you it was probably the best highlight of my life. I’ve liked you for the longest time and whenever we hung out it was just amazing, I felt like I was on top of the world and I had everything and everyone that I needed with me to live with my life. We used to talk about doing stuff together and going places and what not, I had all my hopes up to do all the things we said we would do together one day. Back then, was the peak of our friendship for me. But now, now its all going down hill, well it’s been going down hill for a while. You already did that with your other and I’m sure you wouldn’t want to go do those things with me or anything. But whatever. I learned to live with this sorrow. I’ll learn to die with it also. Shit. I give up. I can’t be important enough to you anymore, don’t think I ever was.
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